I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
