My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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