OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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