And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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