So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize