It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
