6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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