12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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