Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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