I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
