no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
