His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
