butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
NoShamevember. You game?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.