we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion