Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Did I show you my penis last night?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits