It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex