so that wasnt chicken after all
I just cut my nipple shaving
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
