so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
