I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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