About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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