Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
