Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
