I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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