saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
