he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
