that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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