So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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