Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
