I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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