just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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