Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize