My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
