hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize