u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
