i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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