Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
