guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
