Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
