The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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