When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
