he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
