if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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