when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
