yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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