He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
