He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize