So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
