the condom got lost in my hair
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize