Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You are the jesus of drinking
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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