so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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