Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
