and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Idk if I want to put a bra on
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
