im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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