Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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