You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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