He is an equal opportunity slut.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
