i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
