we made out on top of his cat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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