i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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