Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
