If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
