My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
