He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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