too bad you live with your parents still
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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