forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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